Emma was confirmed Monday night.
Betsy gracefully accepted to be Emma's sponsor; the best and most appropriate choice I could have ever made!!!
All through the ceremony Emma was fidgety. Moved to the left, moved to the right. And every few seconds she would kiss or hug Betsy, Dakotah and I. I was wondering what Emma was grasping about what was going on. But when came "the moment", with Betsy's hand upon her shoulder, I could sense a change in Emma. She was at peace, and happy. Betsy's peacefulness was filtering through Emma. It was palpable. What a wonderful moment!!!
Then, last night came the results, black on white, of Emma's latest psychological assessment. Numbers ranging from 2.11 to 4 years old, mentions of Moderate state of mental retardation.
Silly me, even if I know that this is only a paper, even if I know that Emma is totally happy and even if I know that I love her to pieces, I shed a few tears. I also read that Emma's ability to adapt is greater than her cognitive abilities. This is good, no? Does that mean that Emma will make her way in this world a little easier because of that? That she'll find her place in the sun?
Why? Why does it bothered me so? When every each day of my life, I celebrate Emma. I love her wit, her sensitivity, her ability to marvel at the smallest beauty or "growl" her discontent.
I don't know. I am still reflecting on that one.
Then, came a beautiful note from Betsy (read her post), and our world is once again a wonderful place to be in. Betsy is always, always good to my soul. Thank you to the best sponsor in the whole wide world! And yes, everyone was envying you and my girl. You two were glowing LOVE!!!
Camille - the phtoes of Emma's confirmation were so beautiful and yes Betsy's post was wonderful - she is so good at articulating the emotions that we share as special needs mamas. Han has her first psychometric testing early next month and I am very nervous. Will I feel disapointment in her (I don't ant to) or will I feel embarassed by her (I hope not). I need to remeber that it is just a vehicle that may be used to provide extra fndng and support to Hannah should she fail' or show moderate learning disability. Don't get me started on how 'mild intellectual disability' and a diagnosis of DS does NOT qualify her for targetted funding!!! How can they possibly catch the essence of who she is? We are not intellect alone - we are so much more than that. Having said that I have to add that I think Hannah has a great intellect (she is as smart as the other kids EASILY!) it just isn't the sum of who she is and may not be shown in the conventional ways.
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