Friday, April 24, 2009

THEY

To me the word "they" is just as bad, if not worst, than the R word.
Of course the R word is not acceptable. But most people do not use it to address people who have a disability. They usually add it here and there, without thinking of the direct effect it has on a lot of people around them. They are not realising the huge implications their selected word have on others. They need to be made aware...
But, I have often experienced this, when people use the word THEY, they are directly talking to me about my daughter. It can be a neighbour, a doctor, an OT, a teacher, and so on.
I heard: THEY (meaning people who have Down syndrome) are so affectionate. (You should hear Emma complaining about her sister: she does not feel very affectionate when her sister tells to get out of her room). I heard: THEY are so perceptive. THEY are usually shorter (shorter than who? Emma who is in grade 2 is actually taller than a girl in her school who is in grade 4.)
And when they tell you this stuff, it seems that they know so much about the subject. They are improvised experts on the matter. Do they even know personally someone who has Down syndrome?
I am always in shock when someone uses the word THEY while talking to me about Emma. I used to give my interlocutor examples of how Emma and another child who has DS are different, unique in their personalities.
These days I am not so patient. I feel like SCREAMING. My daughter has a name, her own DNA, her very unique personality. You do not talk about her using the word THEY. Do I talk about your boys saying THEY (meaning boys) are more active than girls. THEY eat so much more than girls. I know better: these statements are not always the case.
Yes, Emma has Down syndrome. But she is her own beautiful entity. In no way does she react to situations exactly the same as all of the other children who have Down syndrome.
I don't want to hear the word THEY anymore...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

WHERE HAS MY BABY GIRL GONE?

Trips to CHEO with Emma used to be tiring. She was fast, she was all over the place. I always had to become "Camille the superhold wrestler" and come up with "holds" so hospital staff could perform their tests.
It did not matter if it was in cardiology, dental clinic, ENT clinic, eye clinic, and so on, Emma would not surrender easily to any of those invasions of her little self. I have to admit, she is quite the fighter. Her wrestler's name might have been "Emma the youngest Houdini of the world".
Could it be that we have both retired from our EOCHWA (Eastern Ontario Children Hospital Wrestling Association) career? Maybe, maybe not...
In the last 3 weeks, we had 3 appointments. She first surprised me by sitting by herself in the dentist's chair. Her teeth were checked, cleaned, polished, flossed and checked again while she sang AH all along. When everything was done she said: Thank you lady!
The second week, Dr. Vacanni checked her ears, Not a problem. A tube had fallen off. He needed to take it out with this long pick or tweezer. Not a problem. She sat there, very still waiting for him to be done. When she was done, she asked me to sit in the chair, took the light instrument and wanted to check my ears while saying: Doctor Emma.
Twice at CHEO, not a wrestling move. Hum, something is definitely changing...
Then came the psychological assessment. The only one she had in the past was not very revealing. Emma was just too active for the DOC to administer any of his neat little tests.
This time, Emma sat there and answered a lot of questions. When she knew the answer, she would point to the right picture and say: Right there with exasperation, as if she thought Doc should know these things. When she did not know the answer, she would simply say: I don't know and move to the next set of pictures. Another fun, enjoyable appointment.
All these amazing appointments were tempting me to believe that my wrestling days are over. But then, Carl and I had to cut Emma's toe nails. And our little Houdini made a great comeback, fighting and yelling like, yes, like a pig being plunged into boiling water.
All in all, I am thinking what a fun ride we are having with this little girl of ours! She is growing up faster now and it is always a joy to watch her bloom. Today she is going to see the movie Earth (for Earth Day), not at our local theater but in Montreal, I hope her EA will keep her eyes on Emma at all times...
Where has my baby girl gone?

Saturday, April 4, 2009

TIMES ARE A CHANGING




Well, Amy is now 16; she's got her learner's license since two weeks!!!








The first time she drove my car, I was a nervous wreck! I must admit that she is quite good behind the wheel. I thought that my hair was going to turn white instantly, but I survived.

Emma was saying, from the back seat: "Don't scare me", I was stepping on my imaginary breaks, I was holding on to the door.

Amy said that it was much more fun to drive with Dad. HE was joking around. I know, I have to let go, but I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this girl of mine is getting ready to fly the coop. To this day, I had never imagined sitting on the passenger's seat, my baby girl at the wheel.

I am just being silly. I am letting her get ready to fly and I enjoy watching her becoming this beautiful woman, with strong convictions, with a no nonsense attitude.

Tonight, she is gone to a concert in Montreal, along with 2 friends. Carl and another dad will wait not too far from the concert hall, their cell phone "on guard" for the call to get them. When you grow up on a farm, it is quite exciting to discover the city's night life!!! She was so anxious to get going and she looked so beautiful.

Amy is talking about becoming a psychologist. She has chosen her courses for the next 3 years. She rides her horse with such love. She has a boyfriend who is quite nice. Her path in life is starting to take shape.

Now, I get to sit back and watch her take her flight and enjoy witnessing her make a thousand new discoveries a week...

Enjoy the ride, sweet girl of mine.